When your child’s diagnosis shakes your faith, you’re not alone

If you’ve asked any the ques­tions below after a child’s unex­pect­ed diagnosis—or are ask­ing them right now—this book is for you.

  • “Where is God in this?”
  • “I love my child deeply, so why am I strug­gling to make sense of all this?”
  • “What if I can’t han­dle this?”
  • “How do I keep my faith when I feel so angry?”
  • “Should I be over this by now?”

Who is this book for?

Siege of the Soul is a book ded­i­cat­ed to Chris­t­ian par­ents and care­givers nav­i­gat­ing:

  • Med­ical com­plex­i­ty in chil­dren
  • Spe­cial needs diag­noses
  • Neu­ro­di­ver­gence
  • Devel­op­men­tal delays or dis­abil­i­ties
  • Any pro­longed, unex­pect­ed hard sea­son that’s shak­en your faith

It’s also for the pas­tors, coun­selors, and friends who want to under­stand the inner world of these par­ents with greater com­pas­sion.

What kind of book this is

This is the­ol­o­gy meets semi-mem­oir meets bib­li­cal counseling—a field guide for the val­ley you did­n’t choose but are walk­ing any­way. It blends lived expe­ri­ence, spir­i­tu­al for­ma­tion, and gen­tle pas­toral insight to help you name what’s hap­pen­ing inside you and find relief in the truth of your beloved­ness.

Why this format works

Writ­ten in the tra­di­tion of C.S. Lewis’s The Screw­tape Let­ters, this book uses demon cor­re­spon­dence to reveal the spir­i­tu­al and emo­tion­al bat­tles par­ents face when life falls apart. The device allows read­ers to see their own unspo­ken fears, ques­tions, and pres­sures with clar­i­ty and com­pas­sion.

Read Letter I: Upon the Diagnosis

Before you begin, know this: the voice you’re about to hear is not the voice of truth. It’s the voice that dis­torts, iso­lates, and over­whelms. Rec­og­niz­ing its tac­tics is the first step toward relief and beloved­ness. You’ll read a memo from Drivelbane—a senior demon—to his nephew, Mum­ble­wort, about how to dis­cour­age a moth­er who just received her child’s diag­no­sis.

Letter I: Upon the Diagnosis

“The Reeling Begins”

My dear Mum­ble­wort,

Savor this moment, nephew, for rarely do the Low­er Offices deliv­er such exquis­ite raw mate­r­i­al into the claws of a novice. Your new­ly assigned patient’s hands hang limply beside the phone in her lap. Her child has just received the offi­cial diag­no­sis. She stares at nothing—or per­haps at every­thing her life will nev­er be.

You are now stew­ard of a most promis­ing oppor­tu­ni­ty. This diag­no­sis is a doorway—and through it, we may ush­er your patient into a life­long state of unrest, if you apply your craft with pre­ci­sion.

Let the grav­i­ty of this oppor­tu­ni­ty weigh upon you. Already the Ene­my, ever schem­ing, intends to twist this episode into His own nau­se­at­ing narrative—kindling trust, sum­mon­ing patience, awak­en­ing (hor­rors!) a kind of joy she nev­er imag­ined pos­si­ble. We can­not per­mit this. Fol­low my coun­sel, and you will secure not mere­ly her despon­den­cy but her com­plete spir­i­tu­al unrav­el­ing.

Your first and most urgent priv­i­lege is dis­ori­en­ta­tion. As she has just received the news, you must take advan­tage of the moment between know­ing and understanding—that deli­cious­ly vul­ner­a­ble space where shock has silenced her defens­es but com­pre­hen­sion has not yet arrived. Flood her mind with anx­i­eties that spi­ral end­less­ly. Let no room remain for the Comforter’s voice. See that her thoughts tum­ble over them­selves, fran­tic and grasp­ing:

What will life look like now?

Who could pos­si­bly understand—really understand—what this means?

Am I strong enough for this? What if I’m not?

What will peo­ple think when they find out?

How do I tell fam­i­ly… friends… our church?

What if he nev­er…?

What if we can’t…?

Why us? Why him?

In these first stunned days, your role is not to con­struct new truths, but to ensure none can pen­e­trate. Let every room echo with unan­swer­able ques­tions. Let her wake to them, work through them, fall asleep beneath their weight. Be relentless—never let true silence fall, for in its qui­et, she might begin to hear some­thing eter­nal: that still, small voice that speaks her name, that calls her Beloved, that whis­pers of plans and pur­pos­es she can­not yet see.


Most cru­cial­ly, you must scram­ble her image of her child. Present a dou­ble vision, oscil­lat­ing so rapid­ly she can­not set­tle on either. First, show her a frag­ile inno­cent in need of her fierce, pro­tec­tive love. Then, with­in the same hour, show her an unbear­able bur­den whose care will con­sume her life entirely—let swells of guilt and dread wash over her. Alter­nate these waves until she is dizzy with emo­tion­al whiplash, until she can only see a prob­lem to be man­aged or a tragedy to be mourned—never the gift she has been giv­en, nev­er the spe­cif­ic, care­ful­ly craft­ed, unre­peat­able child the Ene­my has entrust­ed to her care. For if she ever sees him clear­ly, as the Adver­sary does, that clar­i­ty will undo every­thing we are build­ing.

Mum­ble­wort, I see your eager­ness, but take care. The first days are not for con­struct­ing grand lies, but for crowd­ing out the truth. Sap her spir­it with the sense of sinking—as though the ground has giv­en way and she is falling through dark­ness with no promise of land­ing. The rest, as you will see, builds from there.

Your affec­tion­ate uncle,

Dri­v­el­bane

What the rest of the book explores

Across 26 let­ters, Dri­v­el­bane teach­es his nephew how to:

  • Turn her grief into bit­ter­ness
  • Iso­late her from com­mu­ni­ty
  • Make her doubt God’s good­ness
  • Exhaust her with impos­si­ble stan­dards

But rec­og­niz­ing the tac­tics changes every­thing. As the lies become vis­i­ble, the truth becomes clear­er: you are not alone, you are not fail­ing, and you are deeply loved.

You can read the full book, explore resources for care­givers and sup­port crews, or reach out direct­ly. You don’t have to walk this road in silence.

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For those who want a gen­tle com­pan­ion in the long road ahead, you can receive occa­sion­al reflec­tions and resources. A qui­et space for hon­esty, relief, and beloved­ness: