I Know What It’s Like When Unexpected News Changes Everything

I under­stand what hap­pens when your child’s sto­ry takes an unex­pect­ed turn. As a wife and moth­er of two, one with unan­tic­i­pat­ed spe­cial needs, I’ve lived through the appoint­ments that change every­thing, the sleep­less nights won­der­ing if God still hears you, and the crush­ing iso­la­tion that comes when most peo­ple can’t under­stand the weight you’re car­ry­ing.

I write for par­ents who are spir­i­tu­al­ly exhaust­ed from “choos­ing joy” and “speak­ing life” when their real­i­ty feels more like a siege.

Why I Wrote Siege of the Soul

As I processed our new path, I need­ed a book that offered both bib­li­cal truth and hon­est com­pan­ion­ship with­out the straight up mem­oir. Some­thing that did­n’t min­i­mize my strug­gle with tox­ic pos­i­tiv­i­ty or over­whelm me with clin­i­cal advice. Some­one who under­stood that faith and doubt often walk hand in hand, espe­cial­ly when you’re par­ent­ing a child who strug­gles in ways oth­ers don’t see or under­stand.

Siege of the Soul emerged from my own jour­ney through grief, grace, and the hard the­o­log­i­cal ques­tions that sur­face when life frac­tures your expec­ta­tions. It’s for par­ents who love their chil­dren deeply and are also strug­gling to rec­on­cile their thoughts and feel­ings. It’s for those tired of Chris­t­ian plat­i­tudes that don’t match their real­i­ty, who won­der why they are this exhaust­ed and if they’re allowed to feel every­thing they’ve been hold­ing back.

Where Faith and Suffering Meet

Grow­ing up in a home where dif­fi­cult ques­tions were wel­comed rather than silenced, I learned ear­ly that authen­tic faith does­n’t shy away from wrestling with God. This foun­da­tion served me well through sea­sons of per­son­al loss and the chal­lenges of rais­ing a child whose jour­ney is unfold­ing in unex­pect­ed ways. I’m not writ­ing from the oth­er side of this—I’m still in it.

My approach to spir­i­tu­al encour­age­ment comes from both per­son­al neces­si­ty and a men­tor’s heart. For over two decades, I’ve walked with younger women through their own unex­pect­ed jour­neys while draw­ing strength from old­er believ­ers who under­stood that heal­ing does­n’t mean the ques­tions end—they deep­en.

I also earned a PhD in trans­la­tion­al neu­ro­science (devel­op­men­tal cog­ni­tive emphasis)—meaning I can quick­ly grasp med­ical jar­gon and under­stand the grav­i­ty of com­plex diag­noses. I’ve spent years con­duct­ing research on the very con­di­tions many of us are now par­ent­ing, always hop­ing to help fam­i­lies, nev­er expect­ing to become one. My choice to write a book ground­ed in bib­li­cal the­ol­o­gy rather than clin­i­cal advice is inten­tion­al. I know what rig­or­ous work looks like, and I refuse to offer par­ents any­thing less than that—even when the rig­or is the­o­log­i­cal rather than med­ical.

What You’ll Find Here

This isn’t anoth­er inspi­ra­tional sto­ry promis­ing break­through if you just believe hard­er. I’m not offer­ing a 5‑step plan to fix your child or sug­gest­ing that your strug­gle is sim­ply a lack of faith.

Instead, I offer hon­est com­pan­ion­ship when faith and par­ent­hood col­lide with suf­fer­ing.

Through con­tem­pla­tive writ­ing root­ed in bib­li­cal lament, I invite you to sit with the hard things. To name what you’ve felt but could­n’t say. To dis­cov­er that grace holds you even when you can’t hold your­self, and that truth can help you grow even when cir­cum­stances don’t change.

I’m still dis­cov­er­ing what accep­tance and hope look like in my own sto­ry. The ques­tions haven’t end­ed. But I’ve learned that we don’t have to walk this road alone, and that faith can endure even when every­thing we expect­ed has shift­ed.

You’re Not Alone in This

If you’re car­ry­ing impos­si­ble weight in the dark—if you’re griev­ing a future that you doubt will ever exist, ques­tion­ing if God hears you any­more, or feel­ing guilty for not being “enough”—you’re in the right place.

This is a safe space for:

• Par­ents whose chil­dren face diag­noses, chron­ic ill­ness, men­tal health strug­gles, or behav­ioral chal­lenges
• Those iso­lat­ed by strug­gles most peo­ple don’t under­stand
• Any­one spir­i­tu­al­ly bat­tered by well-mean­ing advice that does­n’t help
• Moth­ers and fathers who feel like every­one else’s kid is fine
• Care­givers who need lan­guage for their wilder­ness and per­mis­sion to lament

You’re allowed to be this exhaust­ed. What you’re car­ry­ing is heav­ier than it looks.

Whether your child has received a dif­fi­cult diag­no­sis, bat­tles invis­i­ble strug­gles, or sim­ply walks a path you nev­er anticipated—if you’re tired of being told “God only gives spe­cial kids to spe­cial par­ents” or “this is your ministry”—you belong here.

Start here: Read some cur­rent mus­ings or reach out. I’d love to hear from you.

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